Feeling
by Madam RinRin
Summary: "Thank you... Thank you for making me feel, like he did." Drabble, AkuRoku, Hint of AkuSor. Second and First person mix, kinda... in Axel's POV


**Hey guys! I wanted to write another AkuRoku Fanfic. This one reminds me too much of my previous one, the way I wrote it, but I like it anyway, so I'll post it. This is Kinda a mix between first and second person. It also has a lot of AkuSora hints as well, but it's still mainly AkuRoku, so don't worry your little heads :). A drabble, but I like drabbles.**

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><p>Feeling<p>

I still remember how we used to be.

Does it surprise you? Is it really that shocking I had come to your rescue, after everything I put you through? It shouldn't. But of course, you don't know that. You don't know anything, not really. It's almost pathetic, how you judge all of us from what others say. Honestly, what kind of hero are you? Has "mankind" has put faith in you and your judgmental, incorrigible, and one-sided views? If so, I wonder if you really have the smarts to understand, to comprehend, what's going on around you. Sure you can go through the motions, but in the end, will you have learned anything?

...That was cruel.

I can tell your trying your best. I can tell that all you have done up until this point in time has only been for the sake of others. I know that you're trying your damnedest to understand, you want to know what it is that drives my actions, and you want to know more about yourself as well. I can tell.

But trying and wanting isn't the same as doing.

Still, I have to give you some credit for at least that.

Maybe I expected too much. After all, I was the one who expected you to know me, remember me, return to me. I wanted us to be the way we were again so badly, I was willing to destroy myself so that I could see you once more. I wanted us to laugh like we used to, I wanted to at least hear you speak to me before I was gone.

Heh.

Who am I kidding, you're not him. You're nothing like him.

Now _I'm_ the one who's pathetic.

Maybe I needed another slap in the face, a reality check. Maybe I needed you to not remember, just so I can realize that he isn't coming back. That I've deluded myself into believing as long as you were around, so was he. I will never see him again. I will never see again his blonde locks, nor hear his voice. And your bright and sincere, childish eyes do not hold the same depth, the same calm understanding, or the same longing passion that his held. Maybe somewhere inside of you, locked up, you hold those traits, but what he had, and what he thought was so uniquely _him_, and not _you_.

But hey, you can't blame a guy for trying, right?

I know you would do the same, because you understand what it's like to need someone.

I want to see him, but what is there after I'm gone? I highly doubt any God has made a place for us Nobodies after we pass on. We'll just disappear into nothing; we're special, like humans. Who would create a heaven for, for _things _that aren't even suppose to exist? I guess I'm just not lucky enough to see the one person who meant something in my time.

He gave me purpose, when no one else could.

I see you, and I realize why he was the Nobody who could do that. Because while he is nothing like you, he had that same hope, the same faith. I look at you, and I can see that same, strong desire to know what's beyond your understanding. And both of you have the same trust in others, and that same impulsive behavior. But the way you go about things is far from what he would have done.

I look at you, and wish he was here with me. But I can't despise you. I can't hate you, and not just because I'm a Nobody. I look at you, and while I don't see him, I can see him _inside _you. I see him, and I wish he was here. Because you're not him. I can tell he's there, but he's not you. And that hurts. But I can't hate you for it.

I remember. I remember him so clearly in my mind. I answered all his questions, I protected him from the dark truths, and I did whatever he needed done. But I did because he could do something no one else could.

He made me _feel. _You trying not having a heart and feeling at the same time. Isn't easy, huh? But for some reason, he could do that. He could make me realize things I wouldn't have without him. Without him, I wouldn't have known what it was like to be... well, to _be._

I would like to take a moment to say I believe I had _some_ sort of effect on him too...

Hell, I think I did more than just that... But he did more than make me feel as well.

By the end, we _needed _each other. It was as if we couldn't go on without the other. For us, that was dangerous. I knew the consequences, but I couldn't stop. And he knew the complications. But we could think of anything else when we were around one another except the emotions we felt and urges we couldn't hold back.

Have you ever felt that strongly about someone? Do you know what it's like? Probably not, not yet. Your so innocent, so pure. It's like light radiates off of you, in a different way than his did. Yours is childish and clueless. You know what love is, but you haven't experienced it fully. But don't worry, I know you will.

Heh... It's like I'm preaching when I have no qualifications of my own. After all, what does a Nobody know about love right?

Apparently more than you.

God, what turned me into such a sap? Why am I even asking that question?

I admit it, I loved him. I loved him with all my nonexistent heart.

I think that makes me more human than most, right?

…It's funny, how different you are then him. So why did I fool myself into thinking I could see him? Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk, right? Though it kinda hurts a little... not being able to see him again... Realizing I made a fool of myself, that your not him, that I will never see the blonde I used to be able to hold, to kiss, to feel with my very own finger tips. But I think what makes my chest hurt the most is not being able to ever tell him I loved him, before it was already to late.

But...

Thank you. Thank you for bringing back that feeling. Thank you for making me feel, like he did.

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading, and I would really like a reply to see what you think! You guys keep me writing!<strong>


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